


Soy Alícia Sierra

by dundalk



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:00:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29594538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dundalk/pseuds/dundalk
Summary: Hello there!In this story I show my point of view of why Alícia Sierra is who she is, from very early on, and why it culminated with her being capable of torturing Rio and do all those other awful things. I try to show her more humane side, which many believe doesn't exist, but I am convinced it does :)Eventually I will reach the aftermath of what we have seen on the series so far. Her friendship with Raquel Murillo also plays an important role here.I apologize that it turned out longer than I had planned, I just got so involved with everything and got carried out. Enjoy the reading!Disclaimer: I don't own "La Casa de Papel" nor any of its characters.All rights reserved.
Relationships: Germán/Alicia Sierra
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	1. Prologue

**Madrid, November 2019**

Alícia Sierra felt like she was constantly living on a roller coaster. She had heard the best and the worst news of her life merely months apart. Three months exactly. This is how long their happiness had last. How bittersweet life can be. It gives you hell, then paradise, only to take it away again.

The redhead found herself alone at home reclined sideways on Germán’s favourite leather armchair facing the wide living room window and staring at nowhere, immersed in her thoughts, the only sound coming from the cars driving on the main road outside. Comisário was laying on the window sill; that was his favourite armchair too, and he was used to have it all for himself every afternoon, so his expression was not really cheerful as he observed her suspiciously from his not very comfortable spot. But Alícia was oblivious to that. She wasn’t feeling well and had therefore called in sick in the morning, as she had done only four or five times in the whole fifteen years of her career. She had to be dying not to go to work. It had always been her elixir, even in the good times when she had nothing to run from.

Today was one of these days she had no energy to face people. At the police they had been working on a difficult missing person’s case that was draining all her energy. There was still no proof, but she was sure the parents had something to do with the disappearance of their son. It was the last she wanted to deal with at the moment. In the back of her head the fact that she hadn’t been the sick one made her feel ashamed, but the truth is she just couldn’t muster any strength to face that grey Wednesday. She didn’t want to go through that nightmare. Not again.

***

**Three months earlier**

Alícia woke up earlier than usual that Sunday. The sun was shining intensely outside and the light that managed to get in through the corners of the curtains didn’t allow her to go back to sleep. In reality, it was anxiety that got the better off her and prevented her from falling asleep again. After a few minutes of trying she gave up and sat upright. Germán was still sleeping deeply on his right side, facing her. She did not want to wake him; he’d seemed so tired lately, certainly due to the stress of his hectic work life, she thought to herself. It seemed almost like he was smiling. Maybe she was just imagining it. Or perhaps it was the fact that she was smiling and in her head he was merely mirroring her expression. They had made love the night before, and it had felt amazing after two long weeks in which they had worked their asses off, barely seeing each other, and definitely had no energy left in the evening to do anything in bed except for sleeping.

Alícia’s anxiety had almost been forgotten when she suddenly remembered why she felt like that. Trying her best not to disturb her husband, she carefully picked up her robe from the floor beside the bed, where it had been lying forgotten since the previous night and walked to the master suite. Once inside she closed the door behind her and took a deep breath.

Alícia and Germán had been trying to conceive for a few years. In fact, some weeks previously they had been through an IVF cycle and still didn’t know whether it had been successful or not. It is not that one of them had been infertile or anything. Unfortunately, Germán had lost one of his brothers at a very early age to testicular cancer, and his uncle had only barely survived it many years previously. He had been open about that with Alícia as soon as he knew their relationship was serious, so she accepted it and supported him when very early into their marriage he chose to seek a fertilisation clinic and freeze a few samples of his sperm. Just in case.

***


	2. Bad News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, there! I would like to thank you for all the kind comments you left on the first part. I am glad you liked it :) This chapter is also a short one, I promise they will become longer. Enjoy the read and let me know what you think!
> 
> PS: Please bear with me with all the timeline changes. I hope it doesn't get too confusing.

**Madrid, 2011 ******

********

In their first three years as a married couple Alícia and Germán didn’t try for a baby. They still hadn’t fully recovered from the trauma they suffered as they were still in the University. Besides, both were extremely focused on themselves and their relationship and on building and consolidating their carriers, so this was a subject that became latent, though not forgotten.

********

From one day to the other their lives had to be put on hold when, after a routine check, Germán found out that his family's curse had indeed not spared him. The doctor had told him that luckily his cancer was still in the very early stages and the prognosis was therefore very positive. Nevertheless, he was to start treatment as soon as possible. For a few seconds everything was a blur in his mind. Alícia was his first thought and how he would have to be brave and tell her. Then his family and friends. But he also thought about his work. Germán had been a judge and was starting to become known for the fact that, despite being considerably young, he was already very successful, one of the best at what he did. However, suddenly all that seemed so small, so irrelevant, and he couldn’t think of anything or anyone else but his wife and how she would take the news. 

********

After the medical appointment Germán didn’t go back to work as planned. He quickly called in and asked his secretary to shift his afternoon appointments, bought himself a sandwich, even though he didn’t have any appetite at all, and went to the park near their apartment. There was a spot he liked to go to when he felt the need to think. So he sat on the bench under that enormous chestnut tree and absent minded watched for a few minutes as some boys played not that far away. He was brought back from his thoughts when his mobile rang in his pocket. Seeing Alícia’s picture on the display warmed his heart, which quickly sank again. They had the habit of calling each other during lunch break whenever time allowed. He picked it up trying to conceal his emotions.

********

“Hola, cariño,” he greeted longing to listen to her voice.

********

“Buenos días. Did you manage to flee your boring colleagues already?” she answered playful and let out her typical laughter he so much loved to hear.

********

He took a deep breath and replied as cheerful as he managed. “Yes. I am at the park, needed to get some fresh air.”

********

His efforts were in vain; she immediately sensed something was wrong. “Is everything alright?” Before he could answer she spoke leaving no room for him to contest: “Are you where I think you are? Don’t leave, I will be there in 20 minutes.”

********

He had wanted to process the news alone first, in order to be able to tell her later with a cold head. It wasn’t a question of whether, but how he would do it. Unfortunately for him this was the type of situation in which the woman wouldn’t take a no for an answer, so all he could say was “yes” as she hang up and reached for her purse. Alícia told a puzzled Antoñanzas not to wait for her anymore that day. She knew Germán too well to realise it wasn’t simply going to be a quick chat over an improvised lunch. Besides, she was also aware he’d been due for a check-up that morning and couldn’t push away the sense of foreboding that instantly took over her. So much that she forgot to grab something to eat on her way over. Her annoyance turned into worry as she spotted her husband sitting in the shadow with a defeated look. He hadn’t seen her yet, and was somewhat surprised when she approached from behind and embraced him before leaning in to whisper in his ears: “Hola, guapo.”

********

He took her hands, squeezed them and, feeling their warmth, finally let out the breath he had been holding for a while.

********

“It is it, isn’t it?” Alícia asked already knowing the answer.

********

He finally looked at her and nodded feeling utterly sorry for the way she looked at him, even though they both knew it was not his fault. He would have given anything to tell her it wasn’t true. Not being able to change reality he just motioned for her to come sit beside him. She complied, burying her head in his neck, trying her best not to cry in front of him. A single tear escaped and trailed down her cheek anyway. Germán anticipated her question and spoke before she could word it. “The doctor said it is still at a very early stage and there is a great chance we can beat it.”

********

Alícia nodded but wasn’t really hearing anymore. Her thoughts went back a few years and were then solely on that autumn morning when she had first set eyes oh him. She had never believed in love at first sight. Or even this kind of love at all, for that matter. Nevertheless, regardless of how she tried, she couldn’t explain what the sudden warmth and the butterflies flying frantically in her stomach when he returned her look with a smile meant.

********


	3. Firsts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone, thank you again for your feedback, I appreciate each and every comment! As promised, this is a longer chapter, and a happy one, after some drama. As always, enjoy and let me know what you think :)

**Madrid, September 1998 ******

Alícia had never had many friends and was used to feeling like a loner most of the time. Not that she minded, for her the best company had always been herself. It wasn’t different on her first day at law school. It didn’t matter in reality. She wasn’t there to make friends, but to learn and become one of the best attorneys in Madrid. Ambition had not been a strange feeling for her either. It was her driving force. Little did she know that life had other plans for her. 

“You are new,” the guy that appeared out of nowhere said full of self-assurance. Something in this girl had made him feel funny as well. He had no clue.

Alícia replied with a small laugh. “I am?”

He nodded confident. He would have never failed to spot her.

She asked herself whether she had ever seen such bright blue eyes. They stood out even more against his thick jet-black hair, which hadn’t seen a haircut for a while and was casually tucked behind his ears. “And I suppose you are not?”

He pretended to think. “This is my third year, so not new anymore. I am Germán, by the way. I can show you around if you like. We still have,” he looked at his watch, “half an hour before classes begin. Does this sound like a good idea, ehm-”

“Alícia.”

“Alícia?”

Not having anything better to do and unable to say no, not that she wanted to, she just made an effort not to stare and followed him.

“So, that there is the main building,” he pointed, “where most of our classes take place.”

She listened more to his voice than to his words, entranced.

“And just over here is my favourite spot in the whole campus”, he indicated a small kiosk on their left. Seeing her intrigued expression he showed her the paper cup he was holding and went on, “where you can get the best coffee around this place.”

Alícia laughed wholeheartedly. Oh, and how pleasant her laughter was, he could be trapped in it all day long for all he knew. The conversation flew naturally, and she felt incredibly at easy in his proximity, both occurrences extremely unusual for her. She had imagined her first day at law school in many different ways, and this had definitely not been one of them. “I guess I ought to try it for myself.”

She went in and a few minutes later joined him outside again, sipping her hot coffee on the way. “It is really not bad.”

That day they met once more for lunch. And the following day for coffee in the morning and lunch in the afternoon again. And the day after that, and again and again. Until they started seeing each other after classes too, and in the weekends. They ate together, they studied together, they chilled out together, even nothing they did together. At that point they were already inseparable, being known all around the campus as a unit. Still, it had never been more than friendship. None of them knew where this would lead nor where they wanted it to lead. Their only certainty was that they wished it never ended. 

They usually spent time in his room in the in campus student accommodation building. While she was from Madrid and still lived with her parents, he was from a small village one hour away and had preferred to move to the city to be closer to the University. So his was always the place of choice because, apart from the convenience factor, no one ever bothered them there.

  
***

**Madrid, January 1999 ******

One day, after months, the red line was crossed at last. It was early January, most of the students were still away on winter break. Alícia and Germán had spent Christmas and New Years Eve with their respective families, and were impatient to see each other again. It had been only two weeks apart, but the need was urgent, and it scared both of them in a way. Like with drug addiction, there was no other solution other than to appease this urge.

Alícia reached for the telephone to call her friend and was slightly taken aback when it rang at that very moment.

“Hi, I’m in Madrid again,” Germán announced almost out of breath. It was cold and he had been walking fast to try and keep warm. He was glad the telephone boot was not very far, at least it protected him from the strong wind. “Just got out of the train.”

“Well, good afternoon to you too,” she grinned amused on the other side of the line. 

He couldn’t see but sensed it and smiled back. “I brought a gift for you, wanna come and get it?”

“I can’t, I’m busy,” she teased and could almost picture his smile break into disappointment. She promptly added, “On the other hand, if you have a gift I think I can make an exception. Let me have a quick shower first.” 

Less than an hour later she was standing at his door. He had arrived home not too long before, and had only had time to change into fresh clothes when he looked out the window and saw her walking through the small garden below. He couldn’t help how his heart skipped a beat when he opened the door and looked at her before she even had the chance to ring the doorbell. It was almost as if he had forgotten how astounding she was. Funnily she felt no different.

“Hi,” she greeted and let herself in. “What about that gift?” 

He closed the door behind her. “Oh, it is nothing, really, but my mom insisted,” he said without looking at her and reached inside his bag to get the small but neatly packed bundle. 

Honestly surprised, she asked, approaching him, “Your mom? How is that?”

Always keeping eye-contact in an attempt to interpret her reaction, he shrugged. “Well, I told her about you.” 

The redhead was way too amused by how helpless he looked, and decided to play along. She wasn’t sure what it was all about, that thing they were both feeling, and wanted to find it out as much as he did. “Did you tell her you had fallen in love with the most beautiful girl in the campus?”

Germán raised his eyebrows and looked at Alícia in shock, nearly making her regret how direct she had been. But not quite. This game was too much fun. She got even closer to him, hoping he would understand what she desired. She was burning inside, longing for a kiss, but didn’t want to be the one to take the first step. She had kissed other guys before, though only as a matter of curiosity, for fun, it had never meant anything deeper. With him it was different and he was well aware of that too. This was precisely why he couldn’t mess it up with her. If anything went wrong he didn’t want to risk their friendship.

Alícia was so close he could smell her hair, her neck, her soul. It was impossible to resist. He didn’t want to anymore. The defiant look she directed towards his lips to soon lock eyes with him was the sign he needed to finally and definitely close the small distance that still existed between them. The touch of his warm lips on hers was so, so good, she couldn’t help letting out a moan, which didn’t come unnoticed and drove him to gently take her face into his hands and deepen the kiss. Soon their tongues were moving in synchrony, deeper and deeper into each other’s mouths. The kiss was quickly becoming more passionate, and the room very hot. 

Germán managed to break their contact and Alícia took the chance to get some air. 

“Alícia, I-” 

It was as though she could read his mind. “I know,” she whispered and he took it as a consent to resume the kiss, understanding that she wanted exactly the same thing he did. Both knew there was no going back anymore, so they might as well just let themselves go and enjoy what was happening and what was about to happen between them. 

After a few minutes it was Alícia who broke apart, much to his disappointment. She noticed and tried to say it as naturally as she could. “It is just that I, I just-”

Germán sensed how she was struggling to speak. He become somewhat nervous and dreaded the words she couldn’t bring herself to say. He simply took her hands and looked in her eyes again. These beautiful eyes. “Alícia, if you are not sure we can stop, I won’t-”

“No,” the redhead interrupted him abruptly. “I don’t want to stop. It is just, I have never been with someone in this way before,” she confessed almost ashamed. Kissing was one thing, it didn’t need to involve love. What they felt, and had been feeling for a while, however, was exactly that, love. They just hadn’t said it out loud or even admitted it to themselves yet.

He laughed softly out of relief, suddenly feeling very privileged she had chosen to be in that exact position he found himself in. “Don’t worry,” he assured her. “We’ll take it slowly.”

She nodded, still nervous. He placed a soft kiss on her lips, and stayed there until he felt her relax in his arms again. Once she did he moved down to her neck and shoulders and she let her head fall back slightly, savouring the sensation. “Germán, I want us to go that far now,” she pleaded, her hesitance long and entirely gone. He wasn’t prepared for the effect these words had on him. He was pure excitement and had to restrain himself from being too eager or it would spoil the moment. Not only had they finally kissed but were also about to have sex.

Event though his excitement was very evident, and she not only saw but felt it too, he managed to be gentle and slowly proceeded to open the buttons of her shirt, gasping at the sight of her breasts still well concealed under a bright red bra. Alícia had known, or desired, that this encounter would happen at last, and had dressed herself accordingly. Amused, she dared to bring one of her hands to her right breast and he didn’t oppose. With his other hand he struggled to open her bra. She helped him and they both moaned when she was finally freed from the piece of fabric and his hand touched her bare skin, cupping one breast and softly caressing it, all the while holding her gaze and carefully observing her reaction. 

It took all his self-control not to push her on the bed, undress her completely and consummate their love right there and then. On the other hand he had already waited a long time for his moment, a little longer would not be the end of the world. Alícia wasn’t exactly patient anymore either. She took control, she had always been an expert at that, and reached for his belt, quickly unbuckling it. Soon his pants joined her bra on the floor, followed by her shirt, which she had just let fall. Before long it was only their underwear keeping their body from fully touching. It was too much for him. In a quick movement he lifted her and she didn’t hesitate in putting her legs around his waist. Like that he finally took her to his bed, which was still neatly made as he had left ahead of the holidays.

Alícia was laying on her back whereas Germán had his knees spread on around her waist and his hands on the sides of her head. He leaned in. “Have I ever told you how incredibly beautiful you are?” She grinned. “You might have forgotten.”

He gently kissed her on the lips again, while his left hand caressed her breasts, her abdomen and moved even further down, until it touched her softest spot and briefly paused. She grabbed his head and deepened the kiss, and he understood it as an indication he should go on. He complied and moved her panties aside, touching her most delicate flesh for the first time. As her moved his index finger in small circles her excitement became almost palpable. He dared to put one finger inside and gasped at the feeling of warmth and wetness, still not sure how far he should go on her first time. They were both on the edge. “Now,” she pleaded, touching his hard member. His doubts dissipated and he proceeded to free her and then himself of the last pieces of fabric still keeping them apart. 

Germán moved as slowly as he could, careful not to hurt her. She had her eyes closed and an expression he could not really read. “Are you alright?” She grabbed his forearms and barely managed to nod. As her resistance gradually faded he increased his pace just enough to trigger in her the reaction he was longing for. Mixed with a slight pain she accepted as normal, Alícia was feeling pleasure on a level she had never imagined possible. She grabbed his butts and started moving her pelvis at the same rhythm, seeking to deepen their contact even further. 

He almost couldn’t take it anymore. “Alícia.”

“Joder, Germán, shut up.” She was trying to concentrate and not miss the orgasm that was approaching. She had told herself it wouldn’t be a drama if it didn’t happen the first time, having heard first times were usually not as fabulous as they showed in the movies. But damn, it was coming and it felt so incredibly great. He wanted to make her come, and it was taking all his self-control to make sure he didn’t finish before her. When he felt her inner muscles tighten around him he knew he could let go at last. Sweaty and breathless, they had finally reached the climax in each other’s arms, and were unable to separate for while. After their breath and heart rates had slowed down again he carefully retreated and let himself fall on his side.

“Ven aquí.” He put one arm around her and leaned in closer until their noses touched and she laughed timidly. She was still trying to process the overwhelming emotions she was experiencing. He tucked one loose strand of red hair behind her ear to have a better view of her face. “You had me the first time I saw you.”

Alícia believed him, for she also had felt that connection that caused electric sparkles to generate within her. He was so handsome, so kind, so caring. She felt safe with him, and like she could be just herself. She didn’t know how long it had been before he spoke again.

“Are you hungry?”

Startled, she remembered she was supposed to be back home for dinner. As much as she wanted to stay with him that moment, that night, her entire life, she knew she would need to give a very good explanation at home. Her brother was coming over with his wife and daughter. They had spent the winter holidays in Barcelona with his wife’s family and didn’t manage to come earlier, since her father was very ill and that would have probably been his last Christmas with them. Alícia’s brother was over 10 years older than her, and had moved out many years ago. She had been a late surprise to her parents, a fact that in part justified why they were so over protective, even though she was already an adult now. Barely, but still.

“I am sorry, Germán, I really need to leave,” she said regretfully while reaching for her clothes and dressing up again. 

“But-” had he done something wrong? Had it been a mistake to cross the line so soon? It hadn’t really been that soon, but, yes, they had surpassed the friendship boundary and gone all the way down in less than an hour. From one extreme to the other. Maybe they should have stayed on the first kiss. Or the second. He sat up concerned. “Are we good? Was it too fast?” 

Poor Germán. Her fear of being reproached at home had made her oblivious to the situation. “No, it was about time,” she laughed that delightful laughter of hers, and bent down to place a full kiss on his mouth. His lips parted but she stepped backwards before he could reach for her tongue. “I have a dinner date with my family.”

“Let me at least walk with you. And-” he remembered and gave her the small package that had been laying forgotten on his desk. “You still haven’t opened your gift."

***


	4. Resilience

**Madrid, 2011 ******

“Do you remember our first kiss?” Alícia had spanned back to and was staring at the present-time Germán again.

Their first kiss? How could he ever forget? “I don’t think I do, but what happened after I reminisce about every day,” he laughed forgetting his situation for a short moment.

She hit him on his shoulders. “Silly.”

He massaged them and pretended to be hurt. “Ouch!” His playful tone disappeared when he saw her suddenly let the tears she had been holding back with such an effort fall freely. “Where is this coming from now, cariño?” He caught some of her tears with his thumbs before pulling her closer to him. 

She buried herself in the small of his neck again. “I cannot loose you.”

“I won’t go anywhere,” he assured, even though he wasn’t much sure he could keep his promise. “Look,” he moved back just enough to be able to see her face. It destroyed him to watch her like that. She was always so strong, and now he had unwillingly upset her. She looked up, her eyes swollen. “I will start treatment as soon as it can be organised. We will discuss the best approach to beat this thing next week,” he explained as convincingly as he could.

“I will go with you.” It wasn’t a question. Alícia suddenly felt herself again. Damn, how selfish of her to break down like that when it was her husband who needed her the most and not the other way around. She would be there for him and they would get rid of this crap together. Guttural sounds coming from her stomach took them both off guard. “Are you going to eat the-” She took the sandwich and examined it, “whatever it is?”

He shook his head. “Suit yourself.”

****

Alícia felt a knot form in her throat as she looked around the waiting room of the oncologist they had been referred to. She and Germán were by far the youngest amongst the people there, which included a very thin man who held on to his walking stick as if his life depended on it, a woman around her 60’s with her head covered by a scarf, accompanied by what the redhead judged was her son, and a middle-aged couple with such a weak appearance that she was not sure which one of them was ill. She glanced sideways at her husband. He seemed so composed, so calm. She was quickly filled by an overwhelming feeling of love for him.

“Gérman Martín.”

Dr. Sanchéz was younger than Alícia had expected. For some reason she had always associated cancer with old people, and that comprised doctors too. It made her feel slightly more comfortable. After a brief explanation about Germán’s situation he proceeded to explain what possible treatments they could try at that point. 

His medical file with the results of the examinations he had been through the previous week was spread open in front of him, but he had already gathered all the information he needed. He made it clear that, regardless of they opted for, the affected testicle would have to be removed surgically. Both had already known that.

“I see you do not have children,” he went on. The couple exchanged looks and listened further. “We could try to preserve the right testicle. However-”

“No.” Alícia cut him mid-sentence. Germán glanced at her a little surprised. But she knew exactly what the doctor was going to say, and the couple had already discussed all that. They had even prepared for that, for Christ’s sake. Nevertheless she made an effort to sound more friendly. “Dr. Sanchéz, we don’t want to take any chance. We know the risks.”

“My brother died very young,” Germán spoke for the first time. “He was sixteen when they first diagnosed him, and the cancer had already spread to both his testicles. Within 5 months we lost him.”

Alícia squeezed his right hand, which she had been holding under hers on her lap. She knew it was a very painful subject for him.

“I see,” the doctor nodded. “Let me put it that way. I assume you will want to preserve sperm samples in case in you decide to have children later. I can refer you to-”

He needn’t to continue. The redhead interrupted him again. “It is already taken care of.”

Two weeks later Germán was submitted to surgery, which was to be followed by three cycles of chemotherapy, with evaluations between them. Both he and Alícia took some time off work. They had some savings, which, together with the support they were entitled to being government employees, enabled them to live for a period without their usual income. 

The following months were tough. Alícia shaved her husband’s head early on. She joked about how he looked like a soccer player, and it lifted his spirits. It was like that the whole time. During the day she cheered him up and supported him physically when he was weak due to chemo, but would hide herself in the bathroom at late hours, when she thought Germán was already sleeping, and cry sometimes for hours out of fear and frustration. At times he would be well enough to live almost normally and do everything he was used to do. Once between treatment cycles they even took some overdue vacations in Italy and France. Life had seemed good again.

After 10 long months Germán was finally declared cancer free. Their lives slowly went back to normal, even though he was still supposed to be closely monitored for two years. Dr. Sanchéz had explained that this was the time frame a relapse was most likely to happen. After that his check-ups became more spaced, and the couple finally allowed themselves to start making plans again.

**Madrid, May 2014 ******

Alícia left the police station early that day. It was a beautiful spring afternoon, and there were few things she enjoyed more than watching life blossom outside. Germán would be on a trial the whole day and probably most of the night too, so there was no hurry in going back home. Instead, just in time, she got out of the metro two stations earlier than usual and headed to the park. Once on the street, her eyes took a few seconds to adjust to the clarity, and only then she realised her sunglasses were not in her purse.  
  
As she filled her lungs with the delicious smell of so many different flower sorts, felt the warmth of the sun on her skin and the wind softly blowing on her face she told herself it didn’t matter. The sound of friends talking, children playing and laughing, dogs barking and chasing other dogs reflected in her mood and she felt truly content. Not only then but with her life in general. At times things hadn’t been easy. In fact, they had been really tough, but she wanted to believe they belonged in the past and that she was ready to move forward.  
  
“Oi!”  
  
The redhead didn’t notice someone was trying to call her attention.  
  
“Hi! Can you throw the ball back?”  
  
A teenage boy had failed to catch the ball and now thought it had landed too far for him to come get it himself. On the other hand, it had landed right by Alícia’s feet. She snapped back to reality and bent down to lift the object. “There!”  
  
The boy caught it and waved back. “Gracias!”

She walked a little fast in order to be out of reach in case the ball went flying wild again. In reality she had come there to think. A subject that she had been suppressing for years had been insisting on catching her off guard when she least expected. Besides, the way Germán was indirectly hinting to his desire to start a family had made her ask herself whether she was fully ready for that. Would she ever be?

She approached the only bench she saw that was still free. Unfortunately directly facing the boys playing soccer. Considering the distance to be safe enough, she sighed heavily and finally sat down. Everywhere she looked there where children playing, mothers pushing strollers, carrying toddles by their hands, a few pregnant couples here and there. She tried to imagine how it would be if she was one of these women. What was still holding her back? What if the IVF didn’t work right away? Would she be able to cope with the failure? Hiding behind so many questions, she knew exactly that there was only thing that still scared her. “What if it happened again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, there! 
> 
> What do you think? Are things finally getting better for Alícia and Gérman? I would love to read some comments. See you next time!


	5. Discovery

**Madrid, February 2001 ******

********

****

Alícia and Germán had been a couple for over three years. He was in his 5th and last year at law school. Apart from studying his ass off for his final exams, he was doing the mandatory internship at a law firm. The money he earned wasn’t much, but, together with what Alícia earned working as a waitress a few evenings a week and on weekends, it enabled them to rent a small flat not very far from the campus.

****

The truth is they didn’t see as much of each other as they did at the beginning. Therefore every night together was reason for a small celebration. It could be a movie, dinner, wild sex, just sex, and once in a while a weekend out on the mountains or at the beach. When they couldn’t avoid the it anymore they gave in to the insistence and drove up to visit Germán´s parents.

****

“My mom called again,” he announced annoyed succumbing on the couch and taking his shoes off in the process, ready for the weekend after a particularly long week. 

****

Even though Alícia loved his mother, sometimes it did get out of hand. “Can’t you just say no?” 

****

He was tempted to refuse, but it really had been a while since he visited. Besides, they were both free that weekend. “Come on, Alícia.”

****

“I don’t feel well. Maybe you should go alone.”

****

Now that he didn’t see coming. “What is the matter?”

****

She had a weird feeling and it had been bothering her the whole week, but she wasn’t in the mood to talk about that then, so she gave him any answer. “Upset stomach, I guess,” she said unconvincingly. 

****

He didn’t buy it, and his suspicious look annoyed her even more. She didn’t need him worrying and being over-protective. They ended up discussing and having one of their worst fights. Germán was the first to throw the towel. “This is not leading anywhere,” he stated. “I’m out.”

****

“Germán,” she started apologetically touching his arm, but only half sorry.

****

“No, you are right,” he freed himself from her touch. “We need to cool our heads down.”

****

Alícia didn’t protest as he packed an overnight bag and left. When hours later his mother sent her a text asking what had happened she was relieved to know he had indeed gone to his parents. She had been too proud to ask him. Though she hated to fight with her boyfriend, she required this time to sort things, and this was something she wanted to do alone.

****

As soon as Germán left she went to get the package she had hidden in the back of her wardrobe earlier that day and locked herself in the bathroom to open it. Inside were two pregnancy tests she asked Anna, her co-worker and friend, to buy for her. The woman was slightly older, married with a daughter, and no one would have raised an eyebrow if they had seen her buy the items. 

****

The redhead looked in the mirror and for one second didn’t recognise herself in the image. She wasn’t that girl from three years ago anymore, who had come to the University focused, ambitious, without any intention of falling in love, and wondered how she had gotten herself in the situation she was now and how everything could turn upside down from one moment to another. She quickly went over the instructions even though she knew she just had to pee on the thing, which she did. Her heartbeat accelerated with each second as she watched those two lines appear. Clear, strong, unmistakable. 

****

“Mierda, joder.”

****

A film started to play in her head. First appeared German, so handsome and soon to be a lawyer. This would shatter his plans. How on earth was she supposed to tell him? Would he leave? And then her parents, they would dishonour her for sure. What about the studies? She wouldn’t be able to carry on. For a brief moment she thought about getting rid of it. Problem solved. But no, she could never do it and just go on with life as if nothing had happened. She had two days to sort her thoughts and prepare for what was about to come. If one could ever prepare for that. 

****

Alícia spent the weekend in bed, struggling with her feelings. And she cried, cried and cried a little more, until she was convinced she was out of tears. The fear and the guilt were too much to bare. How could she let that happen? But then she was not alone in that. She had to tell Germán, in a way or another. Finally on Sunday morning she woke up with an urge to get on with the unavoidable and talk to him. Their fight from two days before suddenly seemed meaningless. 

****

She tried his mobile. It rang until the call went to his mailbox. “Hi, this is Germán. Call me later or send me a text. Bye!”

****

Hearing his voice made her heart sink and her need even more urgent. She tried once more, it went to mailbox again. “Damn, Germán, where are you?” 

****

She wasn’t in the mood to speak with his mother, but she really needed to talk to him. So she tried their landline. It rang and rang. “Where is everyone?” Someone finally picked the phone up when she was about to give up.

****

“Sí?” A hoarse voice spoke.

****

“Hola, Célia, where is Germán?” Alícia answered nervously.

****

The woman closed the bedroom door behind her and became concerned when the clock in the hall showed only 6 a.m. “Alícia?” 

****

“I want to speak to your son, is he there?” The redhead demanded while walking from one side of their small living-room to the other, not even bothering to say good morning.

****

“He must be sleeping. What happened? Is everything fine?” 

****

It only then dawned on her how early it was. In her anxiousness she hadn’t bored to check the time. She tried to sound more calm. “No, I am alright.” She didn’t want to prolong the conversation.

****

Célia still sensed how agitated Alícia was. “Should I wake him up?”

****

Alícia wanted to say yes, but she only said Germán should call her as soon as he woke up. Unfortunately he had been out with friends the night before, so Alícia had to endure a few more hours of torture. She woke up startled from her snooze on the couch when the phone finally rang.

****

“Why did you call here so early?” The dryness on his voice was unbearable. 

****

Her eyes welled up with tears but she managed to hold them back at first. “Germán, lo siento, can you please come home?” Even though it was always a tremendous effort for her to be the one to apologise, she needed him to be affable for the bomb she was going to drop on him later. 

****

Her struggle didn’t come unnoticed to him. He was willing to make peace with her as well. They were rarely estranged, and he had always hated every minute of it when they ended up like that. “Are you going to tell me what the matter is?”

****

“Yes.” She felt a little less anxious. “But not over the phone.”

****

“Alícia, por favor.”

****

It was not open for discussion. “We will talk when you are here. Just please hurry up.” 

****

When he arrived not too long afterwards she was leaning on the counter of their open kitchen, her expression stern, unreadable. He had never seen her this way, and it scared him to the core. 

****

They held each other’s look for a few seconds, each of them waiting for the other to do or say something. Alícia was wondering whether there was a way to put it nicely, while he asked himself what the hell could possibly be going on in her head. For a moment he was sure she was going to break up with him.

****

Alícia couldn’t take it anymore. “Germán, I am pregnant,” she let out in one breath. She believed she saw a flash of relief take over him, only to be replaced by utter shock. He turned completely white and backed a few steps until his back hit door and he let himself slide down to the floor. She joined him and put an arm around his shoulders. “Say something.”

****

“Are you sure, Alícia?” He looked up at her. “How can it be? We have been careful.”

****

“Not every time.”

****

His thoughts went back to a party they had with some of their friends a few weeks before, and the wild night that followed. It had started right there on that very couch. It must have been then.  
“What are you going to do? I mean-”

****

“What am I going to do?” Alícia let go of him, not all happy with his tone, as though she alone was responsible for their situation. “What am I going to do, I?” she asked again. “I am more fucked up than you in this, Germán. And if you are suggesting I should get rid of it you can save your energy.” The redhead didn’t want to listen to him anymore.

****

“There you go again,” he caught her arm and held her back. 

****

“Let me go,” she commanded. 

****

“Cariño, I didn’t mean-”

****

She tried to free herself again. “You are hurting me.”

****

Germán loosened his grip but kept holding her. “Shh, come here.” She stopped resisting at last and let him embrace her. At that point she broke down in desperate tears again. He kissed the top of her head and held her until her sobs ceased to become silent crying. He could feel her warm tears through his shirt. 

****

“Alícia, I don’t know how but we are going to sort it out.” She nodded on his chest. “Together.”

****

It took a few weeks for the couple to accept and get used to the idea of having a baby and start making plans. With the approximate date of brith being after the end of term, Germán would be able to finish his last year at law school. Alícia planned to complete the 3rd year and make a pause until the baby was old enough for her to resume her studies. They had agreed she wouldn’t need to work in the bar much longer, since he would earn more as a trained lawyer and would be able to afford their little family alone for a while. 

****

Both Alícia’s and Germán’s parents were taken aback with the news and worried about their future, but in the end, as any worthy grandparents, they were over the moon and could hardly wait for the baby to come. Besides, they helped as much a they could, including financially. Alícia was pleasantly surprised when her parents easily accepted their decision not to marry immediately just for the sake of it.

****

***

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, thanks again for bearing with me. I apologise that this time I took longer to update, I was struggling with the drawing, which I still don't feel right. Again, let me know what you think, I love reading your comments. Till next time!


	6. Before the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! Before you start this chapter I suggest you read it at the sound of Queen's "Love of Life". Or maybe not, if you don't wanna cry :) Anyway, enjoy!

**Madrid, July 2001 ******

In late July, classes were already over, and students were either returning home for the summer holidays or planning end of term parties. An especially glamorous graduation ball had been arranged by the last year students. Germán was not sure he wanted to attend, but for nothing in the world did Alícia want him to miss this once in a life time event. In addition, she wanted to go too. Her pregnancy was in the 7th month and she had been feeling like most pregnant woman would feel at this stage: tired, heavy, moody, a bit under the weather, but otherwise. She needed something to lift her spirits a little. He agreed on the condition that they didn’t stay too long.

“It will only be one dance,” the redhead teased. She was stupendous in a tightly-fitted red dress tailored specially for the occasion. Germán found her perfect round belly looked very sexy in it. He let her know it with a soft kiss on her mouth doing his best not to spoil her make-up. Too late. She immediately responded to his touch by deepening the kiss and pushing him against the wall. It was all true what they said about pregnancy hormones leaving women extremely horny. The woman had been insatiable all the way long, to his delight. 

After their own pre-party celebration Germán drove them to the premises of the ball. It had all been decorated in a very tasteful way: for the first part, during which speeches were to be held, pictures shown on a big screen and the graduates were supposed to get a symbolic rolled-up certificate, tables had been set up for the students and their families. The young soon-to-be parents had chosen to go alone; they were each other’s families now after all. Besides, neither her parents nor his were fans of this kind of event, so they didn’t even bother to ask.

Once it was over, tears had been shed, laughter had been heard and relatives were free to go if they wished so, the real party began. From that fateful night, Alícia could only recall the envious stares she got from women after woman, and how jealous Germán had been every time a man stole her a look, either very obviously or from the corner of their eyes. The dance they shared she remembered as well. That memory would be a lifelong treasure and her salvation at many a time. 

Alícia suddenly felt out of place; she didn’t want to be there anymore. Nevertheless, before she could say a word to Germán, who was sitting beside her with one hand delicately placed on her tight and a drink in the other, “Love of my life” by the Queen started to play and the couple immediately exchanged a look that told with no words that the moment was theirs. Theirs only.

Love of my life, you've hurt me

It was a song about loss, but also about profound and unconditional love, and that was the part they related to as soon as they first listened to it together. Since then it had become their song and whenever they heard it their unspoken promise of everlasting love hung in the air, as well as their vows of never hurting each other in the way described by the lyrics.

You've broken my heart, and now you leave me

Germán placed his unfinished drink on the nearest table and took his girlfriend by the hand. He need not ask for a dance. 

Love of my life, can't you see?  
Bring it back, bring it back  
Don't take it away from me  
Because you don't know  
What it means to me

Once on the dance floor, Alícia pressed against Germán and made the gap between them as small as her belly allowed her. He took her in and let her rest her head on his shoulders while both swayed gently to the tune. Her hair smelled marvellously, he couldn’t bring himself to stop breathing on it. She in turn was lost in his arms as if nothing else existed at the moment. Both were taken over by a blissful feeling of completeness.

“Te amo, Alícia,” he whispered in her ear, so low he wasn’t sure she had heard it. The kiss she placed on the small of his neck left no doubts she had. “So much it hurts,” he added. 

Love of my life, don't leave me  
You've taken my love, and now desert me  
Love of my life, can't you see?

The redhead was about to tell him not be so dramatic. But how could she, when she felt just the same? “I know. I love you too,” she said instead, kissing him softly on the mouth this time.

Bring it back, bring it back  
Don't take it away from me  
Because you don't know  
What it means to me 

The pair didn’t realise when other couples started to join them. Some had also been together for quite a long time, others had just met each other. To the ordinary onlooker this was irrelevant, for all that mattered they were all sharing a very special moment. 

You will remember  
When this is blown over  
And everything's all by the way

Germán now placed one of his hands on the side of her belly and Alícia held it there gracefully but surely.

When I grow older  
I will be there at your side to remind you  
How I still love you (I still love you)

If the couple knew what expected them they would have certainly chosen to live in that moment for the rest of their lives.

Back, hurry back  
Please, bring it back home to me  
Because you don't know  
What it means to me  
Love of my life  
Love of my life

Everything that happened afterwards was a blur to Alícia, and Germán had chosen to push it to the very back of his head and keep it enclosed there. 

When the song was over she told him she was tired and wanted to go home. He happily obliged. Their taxi didn’t take long to arrive. Apparently the driver had been driving students and parents to and from the party, and was already in the area. The road was busier than expected on a regular Thursday night, but apart from that it looked like it would be a smooth drive. Alícia couldn’t wait to get out of that dress and bury herself under the covers in their bed. Germán had other thoughts, which his girlfriend never came to learn about. It all happened very fast. Before they knew a car came from the other direction blaring its horns and invading their lane. Then all of sudden everything became silent while their car swerved to the right in an attempt to avoid the imminent collision. A few centimetres more and the driver would have managed it. Just a few centimetres changed their lives forever.

Germán’s last recollection of that night was Alícia’s face upside down, her eyes closed, blood running out of her mouth before everything went dark and he fell into his own oblivion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, ok, I am sorry, but don't kill me just yet :) This chapter was one of the most difficult to write so far, and from now on the events that affected Alícia the way I imagined it start to unfold. See you at the next chapter. xxx


	7. Broken Thread

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, there! Since last time it was a short chapter and I left you hanging, here is already the next one. Take a deep breath and get a tissue ;)

**Madrid, July 2001 ******

When Germán woke up alone the next morning he didn’t know where he was and how much time had passed since the accident. It all felt like the distant reality of a stranger. Not his. “Please, let this all be nothing more than a nightmare,” he prayed to himself. When he tried to stand he was held back by a bunch of cables and needles he hadn’t realised were connected to him. When his blunt movements made one of them come loose, the machine it had been plugged to immediately started to beep. Soon after a midwife came to check on him.

“Sir, sir, please sit down!” She rushed in and tried to hold him back, but he wouldn’t let her. 

“Where is Alícia, where is she?” Despair was evident in his voice. “Please, why isn’t she here? I want to see her! Where is she? Alícia!”

“Mr. Martín, I need you to calm down,” the woman ordered vehemently. It took him all his self-control to fall back on the bed and let her speak. 

“Mr. Martín,” she continued firmly. “You suffered an accident last night.”

“ _Joder,_ tell me something I don’t know!” He made an effort to translate the screaming in his head into a polite question. “Is my girlfriend alright? We were together. Is she-” he gulped, trying to fight back his worst fears. “Is she alive?” It was all that mattered to him. 

The stern expression he saw flash on the midwife’s face terrified him. “Yes,” she assured him. “The driver as well.” 

He didn’t register her last words as he left out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. However, his relief lasted only two seconds until he remembered they hadn’t been alone in that taxi. “And the baby?”

The woman didn’t say anything, but her sorrowful semblance made any words unnecessary. Germán knew their baby hadn’t made it. Quietly he cried for it. For himself. Above all he cried for Alícia. She would be devastated. Did she already know? 

“I want to see her,” he demanded unexpectedly calm. 

“The doctor will come soon to talk to you. I will let him know you are awake,” was all she said before she hurriedly left the room. 

He didn’t want to believe it. Was it shock? He looked for any sign that indicated him it had all been a bad dream, but the cold, grey walls of his hospital room stared menacingly back at him telling him otherwise.

A male voice brought him back from his thoughts some time later. 

“Mr. Martín, I am Dr.-”

“Germán,” he merely looked at his new visitor. “Please call me Germán.” He had decided not to ask any questions, as though it would delay his suffering, even if it was only by a few minutes, so he just let the doctor speak.

The man approached his bed and sat on the empty chair. “Ok, Germán. I am doctor Pérez. I have been taking care of you and Ms. Sierra, and-”

“Alícia,” Germán interrupted without moving his gaze from the blank point he had been staring at in from of him. 

There were no right words to say what he needed to tell Germán, so he simply went on. “Your accident was very serious. It is a miracle you survived it at all, and only with three broken ribs and a broken leg.”

That is why it hurt so much when he breathed.

“And Alícia, she suffered a head trauma and lost a lot of blood.” The doctor noticed the terrified look he got from his patient. Even though he had been doing it for many years, he never got used to the suffering he brought to people. 

“We had to operate her to ease the intracranial pressure and to contain the internal abdominal bleeding. Her condition is still very critical, but she is stable for now. The next 48 hours will be decisive.”

Germán nodded. He knew the worst part was yet to come.

“We also needed to deliver the baby. It didn’t survive the impact. I am truly sorry.”

Their baby was gone. Their precious little boy they had come to love so much in the last months. How would he break the news to her? For it had to be him to do it. No one else. 

“I want to see her,” he demanded again.

“She is under intensive care and still sedated. I am afraid it won’t be possible to-

Germán straightened himself up and looked the doctor in the eyes for the first time. “Por favor, I need to see her. 

Dr. Pérez pondered for a moment. “Well, I suppose we can take you to her. But you won’t be able to enter the room.”

He nodded; they had a compromise. He tried to stand up at once, but didn’t go far. Everything hurt. When the same midwife from before came to free himself from the cables and needles and help him on a wheelchair, he didn’t protest and let her bring him to Alícia’s room. Even tough he could only see her from outside the large glass door, his heart sank the moment he spot her face wounded and hidden by several tubes, her head covered in bandage, the only sign of life her chest moving steadily up and down. For a moment he was glad she was alive. Soon enough, though, he wondered whether she would have preferred death to loosing their baby. He would certainly have given anything for the baby to live, even if it meant he would have to be the one dead instead. It was not fair; their little family shattered in a matter of seconds by bloody drunken students, as it turned out later.

After forty-eight hours, Alícia had survived the critical period, while Germán was discharged. However, he didn’t want to go home alone. It didn’t matter that she was still under heavy sedation and wouldn’t even know he was there. Just looking at her was enough to keep him going. For now. 

It was necessary for his mother to come to convince him to go home; she stayed with him in their flat the whole time Alícia was in the hospital. It was a whole week before she was well enough to be weaned down off sedation. He wanted to be there for her when she woke up. However, it wasn’t before a few hours that he noticed her move a little agitated on her bed, apparently fighting off the oxygen mask that prevented her from speaking.

Germán, who had been sitting on the armchair as close to her as possible, immediately noticed her struggle and came to help her. 

“Shh,” he took the hand that was tying to take off the mask, which he held slightly up for her. “Germán, I. I-” She was clearly disorientated. “What happened?” 

“You are fine, _cariño_. I am here.”

Alícia instinctively touched her belly and felt the emptiness. The scene that followed was heartbreaking. Despair took over her, she suddenly couldn’t breath properly anymore, her pulse rocketed, the life-monitoring machine went off in a deafening beeping. Germán tried in vain to keep the mask over her face. Seconds later a midwife came and added something into her medication feeder. “This will relax her,” she told a puzzled Germán.

He held her gently down until the medicine kicked in, which didn’t take long. Satisfied with the result and understanding Germán’s silent request, the midwife left the couple to face the difficult, unavoidable conversation alone. The man carefully pushed Alícia sideways, made himself comfortable at her side on the bed, took her in his arms and for a moment just held her tightly against his chest. “Alícia.”

She fidgeted with the hem of her hospital gown. Anything to distract her from the pain that was crushing her from within. She knew what her boyfriend had to say, she was not stupid. Knowing and hearing it from him were two different things, and she wasn’t ready for the latter just yet. “My dress is ruined, isn’t it?”

He had played in his her the thousand questions he would have to be prepared to answer, and this was certainly not among them. “Your dress? I, I suppose so, I don’t know.”

It didn’t matter, she wasn’t going to need it anymore. “When can I go home?” She inquired unenthusiastically, still very interested in her gown. 

Germán loosened his grip on her and held her face to make her look at him. What was going on with her? “ _Cariño_ , I don’t know. I guess in a few days. You went through two operations, and-”

Alícia’s head suddenly started to throb. She rubbed her temple in an attempt to ease the pain. “How bad is it?” She inquired straight into his eyes, almost pleading. 

“You are alright now, you just need to rest,” he assured but wondered if he was the one who needed convincing more. 

The redhead abruptly freed herself from his grip, catching him completely off guard. “Alright?” She snapped. “I have just lost my child and I am alright?” She tried to push him off the bed, but his reflex was quicker and he managed to catch and hold both of her wrists with a single hand. With his free arm he pulled her to him and embraced her as tightly as he could without hurting her. There was no chance he would let her go through it alone. She buried her face in his chest and allowed herself to cry at last. What started as muffled crying ended up in desperate, uncontrollable sobs. He let his own tears fall in silence. 

Alícia was discharged a week later. She asked Germán to bring her to her parent’s house. It would be too painful to come home and see all the baby stuff around. He wanted so bad to be with her, by her side, taking care of her. Nevertheless, when he offered to stay with her and she refused, he didn’t put up much of a fight and judged it better to respect her decision. She needed time to heal, and he was not sure he could offer her much comfort seen he needed healing himself. In the following weeks, while Alícia found comfort in her mother’s care and in the afternoons and sometimes evenings her boyfriend came to spend with her, Germán buried himself in books. Classes were over, yes, but he still had a bloody exam to pass. He owned himself that much. 

***

September came and so did the new term. Alícia was supposed to go back to the University, but this was the last she felt like doing right now. She needed to distance herself from everything that reminded her of her life before the accident. Therefore, as much as it hurt her to the core, that included Germán as well. At least for a while. For this reason, when he came home one evening to have a shower before going to see her, he found an envelope with his name written with her unmistakable handwriting on it. 

It was the first time Alícia had been there after that night. When she dared herself to look around and saw that Germán had put away all the baby stuff, she was so overwhelmed by love for him that it almost made her forsake her plan to leave. On the other hand, she needed to heal, and she felt she needed to it by herself. “I am sorry, _cariño_."

Suspecting he needed to be seated to read the letter, he took the envelope and sank in their old armchair. 

  
_Germán, mi amor,_

_First of all I need you to know that it was not an easy decision for me. You know I love you more than anything or anyone and I would never want to hurt you if there was another choice. I swear to you I have tried. But you saw me. I am not the same Alícia you met at this sunny spring day, not the same that danced so beautifully with you just a few weeks ago._

_Germán, I am broken and I need to put myself back together again. I need to heal. And I do not want to be a burden to you like I have been lately._

“You will never be a burden to me, mi amor. Never.” His tears could not be held back anymore.

_Anyway, I have decided to go to London for a while, improve my English, work somewhere. Remember when we where there together two summers ago? We had such a blast! I think it will be the perfect city for me to find myself again._

_Like you told me that night, I love you so much it hurts. It hurts more than anything right now to leave you like that. But trust me, I have no other choice._

_I ask you not to come after me. Please, give me this time. I promise I will call you when I am ready._

_Por siempre tuya Alícia._

  
Germán understood her. He truly did. Nonetheless, it didn’t make it easier for him in the slightest. It hurt him like hell. Only a few weeks ago he had been the happiest man on earth with the love of his life and their soon to come, unplanned, but already so much loved baby. How could life change so abruptly in a matter of seconds? How ironic that the song they had danced to at the time fitted his life like a glove now. As much as it hurt, he knew Alícia too well, and it would really only make things worse if he tried to run after her. She had asked him not to, so he would respect her. Even if it meant being alone for the rest of his life, for he could not see himself being with anyone else but her.

Once more, while Alícia embarked in what proved to be the most adventurous period of her lifetime, Germán found comfort in his books, in work, anything to keep her away from his mind. Sadly it only worked at daytime. For at night, every second, he missed her and longed for her to come back to him. 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It hurt me a lot to write this chapter. I promise it does get a little lighter. If you are still there and enjoying please vote away! A comment or two won't hurt either ;) xxx

**Author's Note:**

> I leave you with this short introduction. I will love to read what you think, so give it a vote if you like it! I have many chapters already written, and will post them according to my mood and yours :) And thanks for reading!


End file.
